“Jesus Christ can’t you put your boots somewhere else?” Jesse Eisenberg complained as Woody Harrelson sat his dirty boots next to the couch Jesse was lying on. “Sorry, princess…didn’t realize you had such a sensitive nose” the older actor teased but Jesse just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms on his chest to catch a quick nap between scenes. It was the fourth week of shooting Zombieland and they were currently at the part where the gang spends some time at Bill Murray’s house but the cast was beginning to get a bit tense, well just Jesse. He was normally alright but he could be moody, snappy with people and for some reason he and Woody butted heads quite often. Today was shaping up to be one of those times.

Woody usually let it slide right off him, not taking his co-star’s attitude personally but after several weeks of shooting together, the lovable movie star had finally had enough. He’d worked with plenty of young actors and had been one himself but it was Jesse’s almost snobby arrogance that rubbed him the wrong way, convincing Woody to take matters into his own hands.

“Wakey wakey! Nap time’s over! Woody announced about 10 minutes later and Jesse sprang out of his nap with sudden alertness. “What’s going o-...what the hell are you doing?? Is this a joke?? Are you joking right now??” Jesse demanded to know as he realized his wrists were tied together by some curtain ties. His ankles were in the same position and his now bare feet sat in Woody’s lap with his arm firmly locked around the ankles. “I don’t like the way you’ve been acting around here since we started and I think you need a bit of an attitude adjustment” Harrelson answered but Jesse still didn’t understand.

“The fuck are you talking about?! Untie me! Seriously, come on!!” Eisenberg insisted from the opposite arm of the burgundy couch but Woody didn’t let go and held his ankles tight as Jesse tried to kick free. “You’re not ticklish are you, Jesse?” Woody asked with a moment of sudden shock on the 26 year old’s face before Harrelson’s long fingers started wiggling all over both trapped feet. “....AAhHFFuUCCK! aohANNoOnNOAoHAGGOodDDAAmMiiITT GGEETToOofFMmmEE!!” “So he is ticklish…” Woody concluded with a wide goofy smile as he danced in every direction across the peachy pink soles.

“SSTTHOOoPPpiiITT!! IiiMmMEeAANniIItt!! AhoAOhAJJuUSSTFFuUCCkKoOOFF!!” Jesse tried to assert while squirming on the couch and trying to yank his feet free. “See that’s one thing we need to fix; how you talk to people. I mean, you’re not George Clooney. You’re still on the way up” Woody tried to advise before switching his approach and dragging down the arches of both feet. “AAAhAOHAYyYEeAhARRiIigGGHhTT!! SoOmmEEbBOoOODDyYHheEElLPP!!” Jesse called out through the reluctant laughter.

“I wouldn’t count on anybody showing up; they all went to lunch” Woody informed with his short nails making themselves known every time he raked along the pale arches side by side, every drag cranking out another wave of laughter he could tell that Jesse was still trying to resist letting out. “YYoOUuuRREeCCRRAAZZyYy HAHaahAha YYOoUuCCAAanNTTDDoOOTTHhiIiSSS!!” “I don’t see anybody stopping me…you certainly aren’t” Woody pointed out before Jesse’s legs started fighting harder and he twisted around to get free but he just worked himself deeper between the cushions and the back of the couch until he was hardly able to move his upper body.

“Haha, how’d that work out for ya?” Woody taunted with a quick look back to see the frustration on Jesse’s face before returning his attention to the captive feet and going after the skinny toes. “OAohAa GGEEETAaWWaayYFFRroOMMmyYTToOoEeSSS FFrRREEAakK!” “Oh now I’m a freak, huh? Man, you really know how to dig yourself a deeper hole” Woody answered as he scratched along the soft undersides of the right row with a focused itching technique. “NNoAohA!! WWOoOdDDyYCCoOmMeOONN!” “I’m not working with a smart-ass co-star the rest of filming; it just ain’t happening” Woody assured as Jesse’s toes attempted and failed to avoid the enthusiastic fingers.

“AhoAohATTHhhIiiSSiisSFFuUuCCkKEedDuUPP!” “Oh I can make it worse - trust me” Harrelson assured with another big grin before securing his lock around the ankles a little more and really letting loose. Jesse’s eyes shot open wider and his head sank between the cushion and the back of the couch with higher-pitched, raging laughter, quickly wrecked by the scribbles overwhelming his pale feet. “Now, I’m only gonna stop if you agree to lose the attitude” “OoAoAOaoHA GGEEETTTHHEEEFfuUuCCkKoOoOFF!!” Jesse fired back, not willing to entertain the idea that he had to submit to Woody.

“I’ve seen how much water you’ve been drinking today; I’d hate to make you walk out of here with a big wet spot on your pants” Woody threatened while letting his nails press in a little more as he worked over Jesse’s plump soles. Jesse’s laughter jumped almost a whole octave from the more intense tickling and Woody could tell that he couldn’t stand such direct, uninterrupted tickling, like he didn’t know how to process the fingers refusing to leave his feet alone. “AhAohAJJuuUSSTTLLEETMmEEGGOoOO!!” “If tickling isn’t enough for you, I can always start licking too if that’s what you want” Harrelson offered before sticking his tongue out and wiggling toward the creamy toes.

“AAHAH! NOONNNOO! TTHhAATTSsFFuUCckKIinnNGSSIIiCCKK!!!” Jesse protested with a panic in his voice as he got a look of Woody’s tongue about to get a taste of his toes. “Oh it’s coming!” Woody assured while still scribbling back and forth between the soles. “AAhAOhAohAOokOOKK!! IIILLLDDOOobBBEEETTTEEERR!!” “Sorry, can’t hear you!” Woody lied before running his tongue across the top of the left toes with a big, wet slurp, getting a giggly shriek from Jesse as his whole body stiffened up at the tongue action. “IIILLLDDOoOBbBEEETTEEERR!! JJuUuSSTTTPPLLLEEASSEEESSTTAHohAohOOPP!!!” Jesse gave in with a genuine humility that Woody was happy to hear, even if he did have to force it.

“Now was that so hard?” Woody asked as he released the ankles and pulled the cushions out so Jesse could move. “Tickling? Really??” Jesse asked with frustrated disbelief as his ankles were untied. “Well, when you’ve been around as many pretentious, jerk actors as I have, you learn a few tricks.”