The new Dead Meat Kill Count set was finally up and ready to go after months of construction and redesigning the layout. James A. Janisse, the YouTube channel’s host was more than excited to film his first Kill Count since his break and was currently looking over his Halloween Kills script in his office, preparing to make his big return until a knock at the door pulled his focus. “Yeah, what’s up?” he asked to see Zoran open the door with his usual goofy smile. “Sorry to bother you, James but I had an idea I wanted to run by you for a new series” “A new series? Right now?? I’m about to get back to doing videos, really hit the ground running” James answered.

“Yeah I know, I know but I had this fun idea to do a series of videos on death myths” Zoran laid out with a more animated expression but his boss/friend wasn’t as enthused. “I don’t get it” “Come on! You know all those myths about getting scared to death or dying of a broken heart - things like that!” “Ok but how would we even do a segment on those…it’s not like we can test them” James pointed out, always the more rational one between the two of them. “I figured we could do some kind of research-based video on the ones we can’t test with footage from movies and TV and then the ones we can test, we try out for the channel. Cool right?!”

“Yeah, maybe I guess. I’m just in the middle of this right now so I can’t devote a whole lot of time to thinking on new ideas” “I get that, totally get that. So does that mean that I can work on the segments and fill you in later?” editor Zoran suggested. “Yeah, fine, just don’t do anything crazy…and I mean crazy for me, not crazy for you” James made clear as Zoran started back down the hall. “Sorry, can’t really…hear you” Zoran lied with a fake distance between them but James just laughed and rolled his eyes, used to his buddy’s zany nature by now.

Roughly 3 weeks later the Dead Meat channel was flying higher than it had in months, hitting millions of views on every new video each week and James couldn’t have been happier, so happy in fact that he agreed to do Zoran’s first death myth segment with him. James walked in the Kill Count room to find an old timey set of stocks sitting in front of the backdrop, taking him by surprise. “Uhh, Zoran, what the hell is this about?” James laughed. “Oh! You’re here! It’s for the segment” “So am I supposed to get in these or something?” “Yep, that’s the plan” Zoran answered as James’ skepticism proved a bit stubborn. “...alright, I guess. You ready for me now?” “All set!” Zoran assured before opening the top half of the stocks and letting James sit his head and wrists in the designated slots.

Zoran shut the top back down and quickly turned the lock on the side, “How’s that? Comfy?” “Yeah…I guess. I wonder how sturdy this thing is though; I feel like a strong guy could’ve broken out of this back in the day” James assessed as he strained against the stocks but failed to do much at all. “Damn, this thing is more hardcore than I thought” the horror geek admitted with another laugh like he was impressed and Zoran smiled with underlying excitement. “Alright well if we’re ready to go, I can start filming” Zoran announced before leaving to turn on the camera. “Oh, I don’t even think I asked what this segment is on now that I think about it” James pointed out. “I didn’t tell you? Well, you can just find out when I do the intro. Cool?” “Uhh…why don’t you just go ahead and te-” James was cut off as Zoran started his intro, not wanting to let his buddy think about his situation for too long.

“Welcome to Dead Meat! I’m Zoran Gvojic and today we’re starting a new series on the channel that James has so graciously agreed to let me host. Say hi, James!” Zoran instructed before stepping out of the way to show James locked in the stocks. “Hi!” James waved with a slightly nervous smile. “This series is going to be all about death myths. We’ve all heard the too crazy to be true stories about people being scared to death or dying of a broken heart so we’re going to see just how much we can find out about some of these to hopefully decide if they’re actually possible”

“Today we’re testing our first myth and James has agreed to help me out with it. James, why don’t you let the viewers know if you can get out of those stocks back there” Zoran suggested before James struggled in the wooden device, “Nope, I’m not going anywhere” “Great! Because today we’re testing if it’s possible to be tickled to death!” Zoran announced and James’ eyes gawked toward the camera with sudden disbelief. “No…no way! Zoran, please tell me you’re just fucking around” James tried to confirm like surely he wasn’t serious. “No I am not!” Zoran assured with an eager smile before moving closer to James as he began fighting the stocks some more, this time with a unique sense of urgency in every jerk and squirm in the wooden trap.

“Dude, I swear to God! Do not tickle me! I’m serious!!” James laughingly tried to deter with wide, nervous eyes. “You must be pretty ticklish, James…too bad you’re all locked up or you could probably stop me” Zoran taunted. “Dammit, Zoran! Come on! This isn’t funny!” “Well not yet it’s not; we haven’t started!” Zoran answered before latching around James’ sides and squeezing in a few inches above his shorts. “NNoOoHa!! AohAohaAZZoOoRRAAnNFFuUUcCKK! AohAohASSSTTohOOPPP!!” came gushing out of James harder than Zoran imagined, putting a bigger smile on his face as he kneaded into the toned upper body.

“Ooh you are ticklish! No wonder you were so worried” Zoran teased while keeping an excellent lock on his boss’ sides and wiggling his fingers in with tight chomps. James’ sneakered feet kicked around and stomped into the carpet with frustration while he shook in the stocks with full-bodied laughter, the kind usually reserved for a good joke on the Dead Meat podcast. “ZZoOoORRAAnNnsSTTOhooOPP!! AHohAACcoOMmEEOONN!!” “Sorry, James, it’s kind of hard to hear you when you’re laughing so much. I just hope I don’t tickle you to death!” Zoran added with a wink toward the camera before pulling away. “Oh my God…that fucking sucked” “What’s with this past tense stuff?” “What? No! OAoHAAhahAohAOhAANNoNNOOhOAh!!” James let out with even more surprise this time once Zoran started focusing on his ribs, wiggling into one spot initially to see how he’d react and then moving up and down the rest once James was really laughing his ass off.

“FFuUuCCkKOOoFFMmAaAAnNN!! SsTToOPpPTTiIICCkKLLilIInnGGMmMEE!!” “But if I stop now how am I ever gonna see if I can tickle you to death?” Zoran challenged to mess with James some more, telling by now that he was getting good and frustrated with the playful attack. The tall, fellow horror fanatic’s tight pokes suddenly stopped after a few minutes and James expected to be let out of the stocks, opening his mouth to say as much before Zoran landed back on his ribs with wide claw-like hands. “AAhAnNOONNAOhAHaYYOooUuU MMOOoTThhEERRFFuUucckKkeERRAhAHA!!” spewed out of the YouTube host with another forced smile and he rattled the stocks with aggressive attempts to break free.

“Ya know…there is a way to get out of this without actually getting tickled to death” Zoran explained without stopping. “OOKOoKK TTEEELLmmMEE!!” “Let me host a big Kill Count…like Halloween Kills or The Chucky Series…” “AhAhHHeEEllLnNnooO!! AohAOhaFFuUuCCkKTTHhAAT!! NNOoOWWlLLEETTmMEEOOoUUUTT!!” James demanded with a firm rejection. “Alright…I guess I’ll keep going then. I’m a nice guy, James but I can be mean if I have to” Zoran warned but James was too busy laughing and trying to figure a way out to care. However, the animated editor quickly made his point by shooting into the wide-open armpits like two Graboids trying to wiggle through the earth.

“OOoAHohFFuUCCKK! AAhH! AAAhAHaHAAH!!” rocketed out of James before he even knew what was coming and instantly tried clamping his arms down but the stocks kept him perfectly defenseless. “Listen to that laugh…it’s almost like you can’t take it!” Zoran teased as he dug into the pits with his long fingers. “AAhoAHOAOhAFFuUuCCckKKyYoOUuUdDDuuDDEE! AhAHAAHACCOOmMEEOON!!” James struggled to convince with his fists clenched and his perfectly quaffed hair now hanging in his face from shaking around. “I already told you how to get out, I mean it’s not hard” Zoran reminded but even with this much power he knew it’d be hard to get what he wanted. James had only been giving him B level Kill Counts and it made sense, it is James’ show, but Zoran wanted a chance at one of the big properties and he planned on tickling James until he got one.

The 33 year old’s laughter never got a chance to die down or even get a break with Zoran wiggling into the base of both pits non-stop, really zeroing in and refusing to go easy on him. “AAhAohAZZoOoRRAAnNn TThIIiSSiIiSSCCCrRAAZZYY!! JJUuSSTTSSSTToOPPP!! LLLETTmmEEOOuuUTT!!” “You know, I had this bully in high school that used to do something to me that I’ve secretly wanted to try on someone else for a long time” Zoran admitted before one hand stopped tickling and grabbed a handful of James’ briefs peeking out the top of his shorts. James’ eyes went wide again at the realization and Zoran yanked the underwear forward for a classic wedgie, “AHAAHNNoOO!! AohAOHAWWHHAAAAtTThHEEFFuUuCCkKAHA?A!”

“Oh man! Haha that is fun!” Zoran laughed at James’ discomfort and plunged back into the vacant armpit, firing up the host’s hardy laughter tenfold. “Now about that Kill Count…” “AHAohoAHNNOoOOWWAaYyY!! IiIMMNnOOoTTDDdoOOoiIInNNGGiIiTT!!” “This tickled to death video can be 10 minutes long or an hour, the choice is all yours” Zoran pointed out with a mischievous grin as he concentrated on the tender pits. The black Nightmare on Elm St. 3 t-shirt gave James virtually no protection from his friends’ surprisingly vicious fingers and his tight upper body was on fire from laughing and fighting so hard, like a workout he hadn’t signed up for and couldn’t get out of.

Zoran abandoned the armpits after a while and James heard him fumbling around behind him. “God dammit, Zoran! Let me outta this thing! There’s no way this video is going on the channel and I’m not giving you the big Kill Counts!!” James made clear while catching his breath. “I wouldn’t be so sure” Zoran pointed out as he returned to James but this time sat in front of him. “What the hell are you doing??” “As much as I appreciate the classic spots, I do like mixing things up a little” the sneaky editor answered before pulling out a makeup brush and a feather. “Oh my God, you’ve gotta be shitting me right now. Are you serious??” “Yep” was all Zoran said before dusting the brush across James’ face and twirling the feather on his right ear.

“WWhhAaTThhEEfFuuCCK!? AhoaohAohANnonAOhAHOASSTTooHoPPPiiITT!! IImmMSSErrRiiIoOouuSS!!” James objected through the annoyingly ticklish development as his head shook back and forth in the middle of the stocks. Zoran just laughed at James’ fresh frustration and could tell by the smiley grimace how much he hated it; this wasn’t about making him laugh the hardest, this was about wearing him down. “FFuUCkIIiNnGSSTOOPP!!” James shouted, now good and agitated despite his uncontrollable giggling but Zoran just kept going, flicking the feather around in and around his ear and brushing all over his face with a special focus on his nose and cheeks.

“I can’t believe you got in the stocks without finding out what the segment was even about…I guess all that Kill Count planning and writing had you a little preoccupied; it’s almost like you should hand a few over to me” Zoran insisted. “FFuUuCCkKyyOouuAohA!! FFuUCCkKIIiNNGSSSToOopPpTTHHiiSShhIiIT!!” James rejected with another violent jerk in the stocks. “I mean I can switch ears if you like, if that’s what you mean” Zoran offered before switching hands and twirling the blue feather around in the opposite ear and using the soft brush to go after his jaw line. James’ smile grew and his giggling became disgruntled, sporadic laughter at the new combo, “I actually had no idea if your face would be ticklish at all but I guess it is” Zoran taunted some more like a devious brother while letting the feather dance all over the ear and running the brush up and down James’ strong jaw no matter how much he tried to jerk away.

“I guess I could try something else” Zoran proposed several minutes later and gave the ears a break before sticking the tip of the feather up James’ nose and twisting it around in the most diabolical move yet. “AAohOonNONOonoHoHAoahNnOOnNOAhOAHAGGETETIIiTTOoooUuT!! FFUuCCKkMMaAANahoahA!” James sputtered and his face tightened with ticklish anger, suddenly overwhelmed by the bizarre, sinister technique. “It’s just a couple of videos, James…it’s not that big of a deal” Zoran pressed before twirling around in the other side of his nose and watching James’ face contort with torturous discomfort. “AaAohANnOO! NooOOWWFfuUucckKIinnGSSTOHOP!!” James fired back like he’d blow a gasket if the feather didn’t leave his nose.

Zoran didn’t actually want James mad at him for too long after this so he stopped with the feather and stood back up, allowing James to breathe normally again and cool down from the God-awful tickling. “Come on, Zoran…I’m not giving you a big Kill Count, not right now. We talked about this; maybe in the future you can do some like Halloween or whatever” James tried to reason like he knew that had a better chance of getting him out than arguing with him. “Yeah I know we discussed it already but I think giving me a big one right now will help viewers like me more; they’ll be more excited for my niche videos going forward” Zoran explained as James tried to play his hand right, growing more anxious every second that he couldn’t tell what his friend was up to behind him.

“The viewers love you! They just like me best because I’m the most familiar; you’ll get there! Just let me out of this thing!” James did his best to talk his way out of the situation. “Sorry, James; that’s not gonna cut it” Zoran answered while grabbing one of James’ legs, bending it back, and trapping the ankle between his thighs. A flash of dread dominated James’ face once he realized his foot was stuck and Zoran was already stripping off his shoe, “No! Goddammit, Zoran! I’m not giving you my Kill Counts!! This is bullshit!!” James tried to make clear in hopes of convincing Zoran that this was a waste of time but just a couple fingers soon drifted up his socked sole and sent a shiver up the host’s back. “Shit! Don’t do that! Zoran, stohaoOpP!” James struggled to get his words out with another quick dittle along his upturned foot.

“Sounding kind of nervous up there, buddy…you sure you wanna keep this up?” Zoran questioned with his index fingers winding along the trapped foot. “SsTTHaohOPP!! I’m NoOOTT cCHAanGGinnGg MMYYmMiIinDD!” James tried to assert between the bursts of laughter bubbling through. “Fine…I guess I won’t be needing this sock then” Zoran answered before ripping the black ankle sock off and watching the bare foot try to wiggle free as James’ whole body cringed with anticipation. Zoran let the suspense eat away at James for close to 30 seconds before finally landing on the bubblegum pink sole and letting his fingers persuade James to come to his senses.

James thought he could control himself and keep a tight lid on what he feared would come out, surely he was at least tough enough to do that but failed miserably after the first few strokes. “OOAhoahaHFFuUuCCK! NNOonNOAOH!! SSTTOhohpPP!!” the charming internet star broke with another huge smile of his pearly whites as he erupted with humiliating laughter. Zoran’s usual kind expression morphed into sadistic glee at the thunderous reaction and kept scratching along the smooth sole with all ten fingers, making his way down the pale foot with steady back and forths of his nails as he moved toward the heel.

“You’ll have to give me your secret for getting such soft feet, James…I mean this is pretty impressive” Zoran teased through the roaring laughter behind him. “AhAHaa jJuUUSSTTFFFuUUCCkKiinNgG SSSTThOhpPPDDUuDDEE!!” James raged as he desperately tried to yank his foot loose but Zoran kept his legs tight for a firm hold. The kooky editor quickly evolved his straight-forward technique into a more strategic one, focusing one hand on the satin balls and the other just below it on the low arch for a more concentrated attack. “AAAAHAHAFFuUCK! AohAohZZOoORRAAnNn!! AohAohAANNNNOoAohAOhAaohAA!!” James tried to deter his friend only to fall apart before he could finish.

“I know it’s your channel and all and you are the best host, no contest but I think I could bring something different with a movie or series people are really passionate about. I could do the Scream recounts, American Horror Story, etc…you know I’m right” Zoran pressed before switching to dragging down both edges of James’ foot with a slow, diligent raking. “AAhAhahAAiIiSSAAIiDDNNnOO!! AohAohANnoOOWWFFuUCCkkIiINnGG SSTToOOhOPPPP!!” James refused again but Zoran could hear the desperation in his voice beneath the wild laughter at this point, like he was pushing himself to resist giving in. “Man, you’re really making this harder than it needs to be but if that’s what you wanna do…” Zoran answered like he was prepared to match James’ stubbornness as far as he needed to.

To his surprise, James felt the legs release his foot before being quickly corralled again, this time in what felt like a headlock. “Zoran! Let go of my fucking foot, man!! Just stop tickling me!!” James again tried to persuade but Zoran was already sitting on the ground, now with James’ ankle locked in his arm like the host had suspected. “Just remember, you brought this on yourself” Zoran added with terrifying mystery before running his tongue all the way down James’ foot.

“AAAH!! WHwAaT TTHheE fuUcCk Are YyOuU DoOIinG?!” James freaked like Spongebob in the Fry Cook Games episode when Patrick did the same thing to him. Zoran’s tongue slid off the bubbly toes and immediately went back for more, this time flattening his tongue for an even more drawn-out lick and winding from side to side to get James fighting the stocks as hard as he could. “It’s actually kind of tasty!” Zoran pointed out like he knew the exact words to fuck with his friend and started nibbling down the edge below his pinky toe

“YYooOUUUuSsoONNOofFAABBIiITTcCHH!! SSTThOhOOPP!! FFuUuuhUUHCCK!!” James lost it like he’d touched a live wire, flailing in the stocks as hard as he could and laughing with sharp squeals every few seconds. Zoran slurped and nibbled back up the side of his foot before slipping the few smaller toes in his mouth and repeating the same thing with them, letting his tongue wiggle between them while he gently gnawed on the ends. James pulled on his leg like a mad man but Zoran again held tight as he started licking between the rest of the toes and nibbling on the biggest one after slipping it in his mouth for a slobbery sucking.

“Mmm! You don’t mind if I go back for thirds do you?” Zoran asked before prying the toes back and nibbling on the taut balls like they were a jawbreaker he couldn’t quite fit in his mouth. “JJjEeeSsSuUUSS!! AohAohAANNoONNoAohAASSTTHoHOOP!!” was all a distressed James could think to say as the teeth grazed his ridiculously ticklish foot over and over with Zoran only breaking from it every so often to lather James’ savory sole again. “Are you ready to give me a real Kill Count??” Zoran asked after close to 10 minutes of snacking on his buddy’s foot. “AHAohA TThHoOOSSEeAARREEmMIiiNNEE!!” James doubled down and Zoran realized he’d just have to keep going, knowing James would break before he would get tired of trying.

With the handsome foot nice and clean, Zoran let it go and fumbled around with something else James couldn’t make out. “Oh my God…Zoran, what the hell is wrong with you?? This is fucking torture…” “Funny you should say that, James because tickle torture was actually a real way people were punished in certain cultures years ago. I wonder if any of them were tickled to death??” Zoran proposed with the same light-hearted attitude like he’d had from the beginning. “The fuck are you talking about?? Just let me outta this thing! Come on!!” James demanded again before he felt that same leg bend again but this time land against the back of his thigh.

“Hey! Zoran, no more fucking tickling!! I’m not messing around here!!” James insisted but couldn’t stop Zoran from tying his shin/ankle to the back of his upper leg so his heel was against his butt. “There, now I can really divide and conquer!” Zoran announced while James realized his new predicament. “No! Dammit, Zoran untie me!!” “Sorry, James; you know what I want” Zoran refused as he dove back into the right armpit and started scribbling along the upturned foot at the same time. “NNOoAHOohAohAOhAOAH!! AHAhAZzOooRRAAANnSSTTAhoAAOHPPP!!” James howled like wasn’t ready for how bad the double attack was but Zoran really let him have it as he more than comfortably dominated the supple sole beside him and dug into the fully exposed underarm at the same time.

“AhAHAOokoOOokK!! AohAOHAAAAALLlRRiIiGGhHTT!!” James finally shouted minutes later the best he could through the robust, uncontrollable laughter. “Alright what?” “AAhAOhAYyyOOuuUCCAANnnDDooOOOiIiT!!” “Really??” Zoran made sure as he started focusing on the balls of the foot and the deepest, most lethal part of James’ armpit. “AAYYYEESS!!! NnOooWWWLlLEETTmMEEGGoOO!!” James surrendered with his cheeks tired of smiling and his body sweaty from fighting to escape. “Now that’s the sensible James I know and love!” Zoran answered and untied his leg with a simple pull on the knot and came around to the front of the stocks.

“So which one do I get to do?” “...I don’t know yet…we’ll figure it out, just let me go!” “I don’t know…that seems kind of vague to me, James. Almost like you’re just telling me what I wanna hear; I think we need to nail down a specific Kill Count before I let you go” Zoran answered as he pulled out two feathers from his pocket. “What?! No! Dude, I just said you could!” “Tell you what, you start naming movies coming up on the channel and I’ll stop when I hear one that I like. Deal?”

“No way! Let me go and we’ll figure it out lateRraahoAOhAohAaaHAA!!” Dead Meat James couldn’t help but succumb to the feathers as they teased his ears and neck and he found himself Zoran’s tickle slave once again. The incredibly ticklish horror fanatic started trying to name movies slated to be on the Kill Count in hopes of landing on one Zoran would like, now desperate to satisfy his friend’s tickle monster alter ego before he could actually tickle him to death.