“What kind of monster did you say it was, Summers? It looks like that Spirit Drinker we fought in the sewers that time and I ain’t trying to tangle with that thing again” Wolverine questioned from his seat in the Blackbird Jet. “They do look similar, I’ll give you that but there’s no reported activity of it draining the life out of anyone yet” Cyclops answered while flying toward the creature’s current coordinates across town. “It appears to be heading toward that large house. I believe it’s a fraternity. Whatever could it want there?” Beast asked. “Maybe it wanted to play a little beer pong” Gambit chimed in with his signature charm. “Whatever it’s after, I doubt a bunch of preppy college boys are gonna be up to fighting it off” Bishop added as they narrowed on the location. “Bishop’s right. We need to neutralize it before it can attack any civilians” Cyclops pointed out as he prepared to land the jet and they got a better view of the large purple alien-like creature moving toward the Greek house.

The large creature was mostly see-through with glowing eyes, explaining why Wolverine had gotten the impression of the green Spirit Drinker from years ago but so far it hadn’t made any moves, only crossing the open field presumably in search of something. “Alright, everyone, we don’t know if this thing is even hostile yet so I’m gonna try and see what we’re dealing with before we go at it” Cyclops announced. “Talk fast, pretty boy. My claws could use a workout” Logan added as he popped his weapons of choice. “What do you want? Who…what are you?” Scott shouted toward the imposing creature but got only a low, strange roar. “I don’t think he speaks X-Man” Gambit added. “We can’t let him get to the frat house. He could vaporize the whole thing for all we know” Bishop reminded. “I don’t have any way of translating to communicate; I fear it may not have any language able to be communicated with” Beast suggested.

“Alright, Cyc, you had your turn. Let me try” Wolverine decided as he ran toward the creature ready to slice it up to get acquainted. “Wolverine, wait!” Cyclops shouted with un-surprised frustration at Logan’s stubbornness as he rushed the creature but before he could make contact, two giant arms sprang out from the purple monster and one of the oversized hands made quick work of the fiery Canadian. “Wolverine might have made a new friend” Gambit joked as they watched Logan struggle in the air, hoisted up by his arms now over his head while he kicked around trying to break free. “Let me go, you overgrown freak!” Wolverine demanded but failed to notice the other hand was coming for him until its purple fingers started wiggling along his sides and stomach. “HhEY! CuuTTiIOOuT! GGeETTOoFFMMeEEE!” a giggly Wolverine shouted with a reluctant grin as he dangled in the air and the creature continued spidering along his tight torso.

“Is that thing…tickling Wolverine?” Bishop asked in awe. “Just when I thought I’d seen everything” Cyclops answered, unable to totally hide his enjoyment of the scene. “Why would a creature so alien to us do such a thing? On a planet with so many different resources, why tickle the thing trying to attack you?” Beast pondered. “I don’t know but it sure is funny seeing Wolverine in this kind of sticky situation. I’m surprised he’s even ticklish” Gambit added. “Well we can’t just sit here and let Wolverine suffer up there; we have to do something” Cyclops pointed out. “Put him down!” Scott shouted as he blasted toward the creature but it went right through it, not phasing it a bit.

“This is gonna be harder than I thought” Bishop chimed in. “Alright, everyone, let’s go to work” Cyclops instructed and the four of them sprang into action. “SSoOmEEBBoOdDYyGgeETMmEeEdDoOOoWWNN!!” Wolverine yelled through his raspy, deep laughter as the creature’s huge fingers made quick, unrelenting strokes up and down his body, effectively rendering the living weapon defenseless as he giggled and squirmed in the air with no way to combat such a hidden weakness. All his years of fighting and combat training hadn’t prepared him for this.

Cyclops blasted into some of the earth to run up on for a better angle but after another failed attempt to make any headway, two more arms shot out of the creature, grabbing the leader of the X-Men before he could get away. “NO! Beast, how do we even hurt this thing??” Cyclops quickly tried to figure out as he fought to get away. “I don’t know yet. Perhaps I can discover an Achilles Heel of some sort” Beast answered just as Cyclops was being turned upside down with one of the giant hands holding his legs. “Let me go!” Scott shouted with another blast but couldn’t stop the creature’s other hand from ripping his boots clean off. Cyclops' mouth fell open in shock at the feeling of the fresh air on his upturned soles and shot off another round toward the creature but nothing was stopping it from getting at Scott’s perfect bare feet.

“NNoOAaoOAHAOHA!!!” rang out of Cyclops like he had no hope of containing it once the giant fingers were clawing up and down his soft pink soles, somehow tickling far more than any human hand might. “AohAASSTtooOPPPiIITT!!” Scott raged as if he had some authority of the creature while his juicy toes wiggled with panic and he tried to reach up and protect his feet but no amount of core strength could overpower being forced to laugh his ass off. “I’ve seen plenty of things over the different timelines I’ve been to but this might take the cake” Bishop realized before shooting at the arms holding Wolverine and Cyclops hostage but made just as little impact as his teammates. “Dammit! What the hell is this thing??” a frustrated Bishop wondered before he suddenly fell to his knees.

“Ahh! That thing is in my head!” Bishop cried out as he lost the grip over his own body, suddenly feeling an urge he never would’ve normally felt. “No! Leave me alone! NO!” Bishop argued as he mentally wrestled with the creature’s control before his own hands betrayed him by each sinking into his armpits and going to town. “AhAhAhAhGhAhA! MmAakKEEIiIttSSTTohoOPP!!” the time warrior shouted through his own forced laughter, the deepest of the team and just as loud as Scott and Logan’s, unable to stop from tickling himself thanks to whatever mind tricks the creature was pulling on him as he writhed around on the grass. “This is weird even for Gambit…I don’t know if I wanna dance with you, big boy…not with the game you’re playing” Remy couldn’t help but admit, fearing what the purple monster would do to him.

“Gambit, they need us! Maybe your staff will react with it like it did with the Spirit Drinker in the sewers!” Beast suggested as he tried to craft a device he thought might help their cause. “Worth a shot I guess” Gambit answered before throwing his metal staff into the middle of the creature but just like his friends’ attempts, his failed too. “Any more ideas, Beast?” Gambit asked just before another giant hand popped out and reached toward him. “Oh no you don’t!” Gambit let out as he tried to dodge the hand but wasn’t fast enough, ending with it planting him to the ground facedown. Gambit struggled to find something around him he could charge up and throw to at least hopefully distract the creature but found nothing of use before his boots suffered the same fate as Cyclops’. “Hey! You can’t just steal a man’s shoes right off his feet!” Gambit protested as his lean, peach soles wrinkled atop the grass and his feet tried to wiggle to a less vulnerable position but Gambit wasn’t able to see that he was already moments away from his own tickle attack.

His own staff had been warped into curved stakes that clamped around his ankles, pinning his feet in place on the ground before Gambit felt something wet start lapping at his wrinkled soles. “AaGGH! WWhAATIiNnNtTThHHEEELLIiISSTThhAAAHATT?!” a confused Remy tried to figure out as he looked back but could only see a little of what was happening to his feet, only getting glimpses of blue as the same textured affection slurped up the length of his supple right foot again, earning an elongated howl from the Cajun stud. “I’m sorry, Gambit…it’s making me do this!” Beast announced the best he could as his mind was now being controlled by the creature as well, having pulled him from working on a way to beat it and tasking the brilliant furball with licking his friend’s feet like they were the best things he’d ever tasted. “BbEEAaSSSTTAhaHA! AohAohCCoOMmeEEoOonNNnAaOHA!!” Gambit shouted as he jerked around under the creature’s giant hand keeping him in place while Hank snacked on the savory soles with an animalistic appetite.

Wolverine, arguably the most formidable of the team, thrashed around in the air like a fish on a hook as the creature refused to let him go, steadily teasing his beefy body and dominating Logan’s chest, ribs, stomach, and pits with his other hand. “YYOOuUuBbEeTTEERrAhAHA LLLEETtTMMMEEGGoOOAOhAOA OOoRRyYOOUu’LLLbBBEESSSoOoRRRYYYAhA!!” Logan tried to intimidate but his usual ability to strike fear in whoever he wanted was undermined by how easily tickled he was, seemingly no match for the creature’s long fingers dancing all over his hairy body. His face was flushed red with anger and emasculation as he tried to force a way out of the situation but the creature couldn’t be touched unless it wanted to be tangible, leaving Logan’s claws basically useless against it even if he could escape.

Tears had begun to well behind Cyclops’ visor as the creature tormented his pretty boy feet with unrelenting enthusiasm, clawing and spidering across every inch of the luscious soles while Scott’s usually sharp mind failed to come up with a plan of action, too overwhelmed by the constant tickling. “WWhhAaaTTDDoOOYYooUUuAohAWWAaAAnNTT?!” Cyclops yelled like surely the creature had a purpose, some motivation for being here but the monster didn’t offer any answers, seemingly content destroying the men of the X-Men with their shared weakness. “SSTTOoOOPP!! AohAOhaEEnNNoOouUGGGHH!!” Bishop demanded as he desperately tried to spare his armpits from his own wrath but he had no control over it, forced to dig around in his own underarms and tickle himself until his cheeks hurt from laughing so much.

Gambit’s fists pounded the ground like he didn’t know what else to do as Beast’s bewitched tongue licked both of his handsome feet over and over, leaving the ladies’ man’s soles shiny and clean and Beast’s mouth flavored with the tang of his teammate’s ripe feet. “We need…reinforcements!” Hank pointed out before he was steered toward Gambit’s slender toes, suddenly enamored with the idea of snaking between them and suckling each one. “Help me get up, HAhaAAnNkAkA!!” Gambit tried to convince in the momentary break Beast managed to give himself before treating Remy’s toes like his own buffet and forcing the smooth-talking mutant into another fit of wild laughter.

“NNOoOTThheEeTtoOoEESSShAHAA!!” Gambit raged with a tone of humbled embarrassment to his outburst, the kind of reaction anyone actually wanting to tickle him to pieces would love hearing but Beast felt guilty about getting the better of his friend, constantly trying and failing to abandon Gambit’s smooth, narrow feet. The team of X-Men looked to be done for, fated to be the creature’s tickle toys indefinitely until Gambit managed to grab a baseball one of the frat boys had left in the yard, allowing him to charge it up and hurl it the best he could toward the monster. The creature expelled a loud, angry noise and suddenly stopped his 5-way attack, letting Logan and Cyclops drop to the ground, Beast and Bishop to stop tickling, and Gambit to sit up and pry the metal stakes from around his ankles. “I believe the exploding baseball worked, Gambit! Something about it must’ve hurt it” Beast concluded with newfound hope in his voice.

“Good thing too; a few more minutes of you on my feet and I would’ve ruined my suit. Gambit’s usually the one doing the licking anyway” Remy pointed out. “Gambit, we need to find something big enough for you to charge up and throw at it. Everyone look for something to use!” a barefoot Cyclops explained. “Throw me if you have to; I’d rather explode like that ball than get tickled again” Wolverine added, incredibly disgruntled that his pride had been bruised in such a way. “I believe it may feed off of laughter. It seemed to glow when it was tickling us, almost like it was growing stronger. Why else would it want to do that to us?” Beast asked. “I don’t think our friend’s gonna give us time to figure it out!” Bishop announced as they all turned their attention back toward the giant purple creature in time for it to scoop all five of them up in an extra-giant hand.

“No way, bub! Not again!” Wolverine argued with a snarl of ticklish anticipation as he squirmed next to his teammates, now stuck next to each other like they were secured by an oversized rubber band. “Gambit, grab your cards! Use those!” Cyclops instructed. “I can’t reach ‘em!” Gambit answered back before the creature extended another arm and got to work stealing the rest of the team’s boots until Bishop and Wolverine were barefoot like Cyclops, Gambit and Beast. “No way! The one day I forget to wear socks and this thing takes my shoes!” Bishop complained as his size 13s felt the vulnerability of the spring air and Wolverine’s plump, crowded toes felt the same terrifying lack of protection.

They all expected to see more arm extensions appear and target their bare feet but instead, the creature lowered them until they were only a couple inches off the ground. “Bishop, use your head to hit my communicator! We need backup!” Cyclops instructed and Bishop bent his neck until he was able to headbutt the X on Scott’s chest, lighting it up for a moment before the creature’s new plan could begin. Suddenly the sea of green grass began to sway like a strong wind was blowing through, grazing each of their soles with a gentle brush and while that normally would’ve only been enough to make any of them pick up their feet or maybe even giggle, the sea of grass barely sweeping their feet sent the entire group reeling with newfound hysterics.

The stimulation of the grass swaying under their feet worked in a unique tandem with the creature’s telepathic abilities, effectively immersing them in individual nightmarish experiences playing out in their heads. “What happened to your boots, runt?” Sabretooth questioned with his usual dastardly smile under Wolverine. “Sabretooth?! Where’d you come from?” “Don’t act like you’re not happy to see me…you even left me a treat to snack on” Sabretooth answered before he lifted his head closer to the beefy soles and extended his tongue while Wolverine watched in horrified disbelief. “NO! Put that thing back in your no-good moUuAaHATThAAGH!” Logan couldn’t help but let out a loud bark of a laugh as his whole body cringed while Sabretooth’s long tongue dragged down the middle of his left foot. “Mhmm…just like I remember” “WhAAaTTaARREyYOOUTTAALLkKIiNnNgGAAbBOoUUTT?!” Logan refuted, the insinuation that this wasn’t the first time Sabretooth had enjoyed his feet only pissing him off more.

“Leave it to a pansy like Wolverine to have such ticklish feet” Sabretooth taunted before moving over to the other foot and letting his mouth really get involved this time, slurping on the heel and even nibbling down the edge as he licked. “AAAGHGHASSTTOOOPPPIIITT!!” Logan raged into the air as his biggest enemy had his way with his captive bare feet. Next to him Beast was already jerking around and trying to pull his feet up from his own tormentor, a mustache-clad Friends of Humanity member using two hairbrushes on his furry feet. “NNOOOAohAOHA!! iiIMMpPLLoOORREeYYOoUUuTToOoSSTTOOpPP!!” Beast shouted through his robust laughter but the man below him refused. “You muties deserve to suffer!” “TThHiIIIsSIiiSSNNnTtRRiiIGGhHTTAhA!!’ Beast tried to argue but the stiff plastic bristles of the brushes scrubbing the bottoms of his wide feet were vicious enough to distract the doctor from thinking of some way to persuade the man seemingly hellbent on tickling him silly.

“GGEEtTtoOoFFmMMYYyFFEEETT!! TThHIiISSSIiissSCCRRAaAzZZYyAAHA!!” Gambit howled as two metal ink pens drew unending lines all over his strawberry soles. “A man’s only as strong as his weakest point, Gambit…and despite your mutant gifts, I fear you are indeed very weak. I should’ve known even the mere stroke of a pen on your feet would be enough to ruin an X-Man” Magneto mocked while he manipulated the pens into writing up and down Remy’s writhing feet. Bishop perhaps was the most taken back by his new tickler, laughing his head off in lingering shock as Apocalypse tortured his tan soles. His ability to shapeshift his body had manifested itself this time in two giant feathers for hands, now flicking and swishing in zig-zags along Bishop’s defenseless feet. “NnoOAoAOh!! IIMmGGoOOiinNNGGTTToOoWWWAAsSTTEEe YooUuuWWhHEENNiIIGGEEtTToOOUuuTTOOOFFTTHHiisS!!” Bishop warned through the forced laughter contrasting his tough guy persona. “If mutants like you can be rendered so helpless by a simple feather, you deserve to suffer! Only the strongest mutants, ones formidable enough to not have such human sensitivities should prosper!” Apocalypse proclaimed with a villainous laugh as he continued feathering the macho feet no matter which way they tried to run.

“Ahh…Scott Summers, who knew one of my favorite X-Men was so ticklish?” Mister Sinister teased with sadistic glee as he scratched along the undersides of Cyclops’ buttery toes. “AhAAHSSIIiNNnIiISSSTTEEeRR!! TThhHEEEXX-MMEEENN WWIIiLLLGGEETYyOoUUuAHAHA!!” Cyclops tried his best to assure but seeming tough or like any kind of threat in his position was nearly impossible. “I do enjoy watching you squirm, Cyclops…and with such soft, rich toes, I might just do this all night” Sinister suggested with a serpent smile as Scott’s frustrated laughter began to crack with boyish desperation struggling more and more with every stroke of Sinister’s nails on the very worst spot of his delicious feet.

Nearly 10 more minutes had passed before Scott’s distress signal proved successful, with Morph arriving in a smaller jet and running up to find them all captured by the large purple creature laughing their heads off. “Guys? What’s going on?? Why are you laughing…and barefoot?” Morph questioned after noticing the array of boots on the grass. The cheesy smell in the slight breeze alone was enough to indicate that at least one pair belonged to Wolverine. “Cyclops! Wolverine! Beast! It’s Morph!” Morph shouted but none of them responded, seemingly unaware anyone had shown up. Morph watched them all laughing and struggling but figured surely the grass their feet were touching wasn’t enough to be making them go so crazy; it must be the creature. “SSTTOOOPpPTTIIICCkKLLLIiInNGGmMMEE!!” Gambit shouted and confirmed exactly what was happening, surprising Morph and inspiring an idea no other X-Man would dare try.

“Hey! Purple People Eater! If you wanna tickle somebody, tickle me! I’m right here! Let my friends go and you can have me! I can even be whoever you want! They’ve had enough!” Morph offered and after a few seconds, the monster relinquished the five mutants in its hold. Wolverine, Cyclops, Gambit, Bishop, and Beast landed on the ground like toys being discarded and the illusions broke at the same time, allowing the group to see things for how they really were again. But before any of them could make their next movie, the creature reached out and grabbed Morph, alerting the team that one of their own was about to suffer the same torture. “Morph! Don’t let it take you!” Bishop shouted. “It’s ok! I like being tickled! This will give you guys time to figure out a way to get rid of it!” Morph admitted, surprising the barefoot gang.

“Leave it to Morph to actually like being tickled” Cyclops commented. “Better Morph than me” Wolverine added as the shapeshifter turned into Magneto. The creature held Morph by the arms, leaving ‘Magneto’s’ upper body open for business. “You see? My suit doesn’t even cover my armpits! It’s perfect for tickling!” Morph pointed out with Magneto’s voice, humoring the others as they watched the creature pounce on Magneto’s naked, meaty pits. “AAHAhAhAAH!!” Morph as Magneto instantly became a giggly mess with the creature playing around in the hairy pits. “I’m sure the real Magneto would get a kick out of this” Gambit added. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t show up” Beast answered, knowing Magneto would be furious at the sight.

“Beast, we need a way to amplify Gambit’s abilities so he can finish this thing off. Is that possible?” Cyclops questioned. “Yes, I believe so” Hank assured before going to work with some tools from the Blackbird and the rest of them watched Morph entertain the creature, now changing into Sabretooth. “HeEEY! GGIIiVVEEmMMYyFfEEETtTAAaTTRryY!” ‘Sabretooth’ suggested and the creature followed suit, producing another arm and holding Sabretooth’s powerhouse legs in place before ripping the boots off and going after the monstrous 15s. “AAAHAOOohAohAOHAOhA JJUUSStTAhAHALLIiIkkKEETTthHHAAATT!” “I don’t know if the real Sabretooth is ticklish but this sure is a fun show to watch” Wolverine pointed out. “Morph does sound to be enjoying it” Beast added as the tiger-like killing machine laughed a scratchy, loud roar with the creature tickling his massive stompers.

Beast continued tinkering away as Morph bought him all the time he need, shifting from Sabretooth to Quicksilver to Banshee to Angel to Iceman and even to Gladiator until the device was ready and Gambit charged it up before tossing it into the purple creature. Morph hit the ground as Gladiator once the makeshift bomb went off and the monster disappeared into the air like it’d never even been there. “It’s gone! Do you think that’s it?” Bishop asked. “It seems to be, yes” Beast answered. “You alright, Morph?” Wolverine asked. “Never better. I feel great!” “Well, I’m sure those fraternity boys would thank you for sparing them from getting tickled” “I never knew you were so ticklish, Logan. I’ll have to remember that” “If you’re smart, you’ll forget you ever found out” Wolverine warned, knowing Morph wouldn’t be able to resist using it against him in the future.

“Well, I guess we can add that to the list of craziest missions, right?” Morph laughed. “No kidding” Cyclops answered. “Although, Gambit would like to sick that thing on the real Magneto sometime. That’d help take him down a peg” Gambit confessed. “Let’s hope we never have to see that thing again at all. But if we do, I’m sending Wolverine in solo” Scott teased. “Keep talking, Summers. I know where you sleep…and if you thought that monster was bad, you ain’t seen nothing” Logan assured, making Cyclops’ pale toes curl a bit in his boots at the thought.