“The hell is wrong with Gizmo over there? He’s been dusting the house for three days straight. We need at least some cobwebs to keep up the atmosphere in this place” Lazlo complained as he and Nandor watched Guillermo use the feather duster everywhere he could. “I will talk to him. You know those humans, so temperamental” Nandor the Relentless offered. “As you should. He’s your bloody familiar” Lazlo pushed and Nandor made his way over to his mopey housemate.

“Guillermo, may I speak to you alone for a moment?” “I’m in the middle of cleaning, Nandor” “But you’ve been cleaning for days now and as much as I like you getting things done around the house, I am beginning to worry about you. I’m afraid your face is going to melt right off if you frown any longer” the centuries-old vampire tried to explain. “Fine” Guillermo agreed and put down the duster to go into another room. “I am not the best at dealing with emotions but you seem…how do they say…depressed?” “Yeah, maybe I’m a little sad. So what?” Guillermo answered with a bit of attitude.

“Well what good is a familiar if he acts like someone just stole his 8th wife? I mean I know people only usually have one or two these days but the same concept applies” Nandor tried to express. “My boyfriend left me for the copy of himself that you made! Don’t you think I deserve to be a little upset??” “I suppose so, yes” Nandor answered, realizing his hand in his familiar’s current state, unaware that Guillermo hadn’t even bothered to change his sweater vest from the day before.

“Ok, look, I understand you’re a few shades bluer than normal so what if I set you up with a friend of mine that could help cheer you up. Huh?” Nandor offered. “I don’t want another boyfriend right now, Nandor” “No, it’s not a date. He is an energy vampire that feeds off humorous energy” “I thought all energy vampires were like Colin Robinson and just talked about the ins and outs of stamp collecting until the person passed out from boredom” “That’s one type of energy vampire but this guy is different. I actually went to him a few times in the past and he never disappoints” Nandor explained. “So, what? Does he tell jokes or something?” “Something like that, yes” “Alright, fine. I guess it can’t hurt” the nerdy familiar agreed and Nandor retrieved the vampire’s number from his address book.

Guillermo de la Cruz arrived at the address he’d been given and rang the doorbell to be greeted by a man who looked a bit younger than the vampires he lived with. “Hi, are you Oliver?” “You must be Guillermo” “Yes” “Come in, I’ve been expecting you” Oliver invited with a friendly smile that put Guillermo at ease as he entered the New York home. “Wow, you have a beautiful place” “Thank you. But I don’t think you came here to admire my house” Oliver pointed out. “No, you’re right. I’ve just been kind of in a funk lately since my relationship ended and Nandor suggested that I come visit you; he said you’re the best at cheering people up seeing as how you’re a humor energy vampire” Guillermo explained.

“Yes, Nandor and I go way back. I’d be happy to help you” “Great! So how does this work?” “Follow me” the handsome vampire instructed and Guillermo followed, a bit charmed by him already which made him a little more willing to trust his expertise so early. “Welcome to my dungeon” Oliver announced as Guillermo laid eyes on the various contraptions in the den. “Haha I’m kidding! I haven’t seen a real dungeon since the 1980s” Oliver explained, getting a more nervous laugh from the familiar. “Right…well, why do you have all this then?” “It’s part of the process; it helps my feeding me more efficient” “So what am I doing today?” Guillermo asked with mounting apprehension the more he looked around. “Well, I figured we’d do the coffin today. It’s been a while since I’ve put it to use” “A coffin? Really?” “Yes, it’s been modified to suit my needs and it adjusts to fit anyone. Should we proceed?” Oliver questioned his nervous guest, sensing his hesitation. “Sure, yeah. It can’t hurt though, right?” “Of course, not” Oliver assured and prepared the coffin for the energy feeding.

“Comfortable?” “Yep…nice and helpless” Guillermo half-way joked as he laid stretched out in the coffin, his wrists locked in holes at the top above his head and his ankles in an identical set at the bottom, both stockades locking him in place. “Fantastic; let’s begin” Oliver announced from the top of the table the coffin was attached to before delivering a quick poke into Guillermo’s left armpit. “WoAooHa! What are you doing?!” “This is what you came here for, no? To laugh?” “I didn’t realize you meant tickling!” Guillermo answered with a new reason to worry but Oliver jabbed into his right pit and got a similarly animated reaction.

“Very nice…I think you’ll leave here better than ever!” Oliver predicted before abandoning the test and really diving into the exposed underarms. “NNOoohAOhAOhAohA!!” Guillermo came alive with a bubbly roar and floundered in the coffin but he was totally stuck, barely even able to bend his arms while the energy vampire drilled into his pits through the white button-down shirt. “Did Nandor not explain what this process involved? I should’ve guessed as much; he had to be persuaded into getting tickled his first time too” Oliver enlightened as the surprised familiar was reminded how terribly ticklish he was.

“SSTTohOhOHAopPP!! WEeEENnNEEEdDD ttTooORREENNeEEGGoOtTiiAAATTEEE!!” “Sorry, once you’re in it’s up to me to decide when you’re done” Oliver explained with possibly the last answer Guillermo wanted to hear but it wasn’t like he could do much to stop him. Oliver was a very seasoned tickler and knew just how to get the better of Guillermo, realizing after only a minute or so that the very base of his pits was the money spot and soon started focusing on them with tight stabby fingers. “AOoAoOAHAoHMmMEEerRRCccCCyYY!!” Guillermo tried to argue but he didn’t realize begging only made his laughter taste better to Oliver, motivating him to keep milking the sweet spot.

Guillermo’s dark hair began to loosen up and flop around as he jerked in the coffin and sweat stains started to grow in his pits but it didn’t bother Oliver in the least as he switched to just his thumbs. “This really does it for a lot of people so let’s see how you like it” Oliver prefaced before his strong thumbs began making deep circles at the bottom of both pits and Guillermo’s eyes widened with the new technique. “AAAhAHAHahFFFuUUUCCKK!! IiIiddDOoNnNTTLlLiIikkKEEiIiITTTAHAHAHAA!!” “Good; that’s just what I wanted to hear” Oliver answered with a firm grip on both sides so his thumbs could dig in without any interruption. Guillermo had never laughed so much or so hard in his life, never having seen a movie or heard a joke that got his funny bone in such a way but Oliver knew from the moment he saw him that he was wicked ticklish. By now he could almost smell it on someone and he was picking up notes of Guillermo before he could even ring the doorbell.

“My, your armpits are too die for…I’ll have to thank Nandor for sending you my way” Oliver expressed as he licked his lips and finally gave Guillermo’s tender pits a break. “Ok…you got me to laugh so is that it??” “Oh no. You wouldn’t leave dinner after only taking a few bites would you?” Oliver challenged while eyeing the rest of Guillermo’s body. Despite being covered by the khakis, vest, and the button-down, Oliver could see his spots like he had some kind of tickle-vision, making Guillermo suffer in suspense until finally latching around the tops of both knees and going to town.

“WWAaIIiTTAohAOhAohAohAAhhAHA!!” Guillermo sprang forward as much as he could and his legs tried to kick around or at least bend a little to lessen the blow but the squeezing couldn’t be combatted. “An American movie star once sat in this very same coffin in the 1950s and his knees were just as bad. He helped me perfect this chomping style” Oliver explained as his tight fingers wrecked Guillermo’s thick legs. “AHAOAOOOhoOhohMmyyGGOOoODDAohAoha SsttOHOHAOOPpPP!!” Guillermo wailed with a huge smile he couldn’t even halfway control but Oliver always loved watching his guests try to navigate the unusual situation and lack of control.

“Some people’s legs are more sensitive the further up you go” Oliver pointed out as his hands began ascending Guillermo’s legs, setting off more alarms in the familiar’s head of what was to come. “NNoO! MmiinNEEaaRREenNNNTTlLLiiIKkKEe TTHhAAT!! IIISSWEeAAAARRAHAA!!” “Are you sure?” Oliver questioned like he wanted to make Guillermo eat his words the higher up he went. Guillermo tried to contain his reaction enough to deter Oliver but as the squeezing continued up his legs, he knew it was only a matter of time before there was no hiding how explosively ticklish his thighs were.

Both hands moved higher and higher an inch at a time and Guillermo bit his lip for dear life to save his thighs but soon enough the next inch Oliver squeezed ruined any hope for him losing interest. “AAOAOAHAOHAOAOOkkOOKKK!! AAHAahAHA!!!” Guillermo screamed one good time with high-pitched laughter before becoming a giggly machine, thrashing in the coffin and doing everything he could to get away from Oliver’s hands. “I think you weren’t honest with me, Guillermo…” “AhoAHoAAOohAA IIMmMSsoOoRRYY!! JjuuUuSSTTTTSSTTOHohOHOPP!!” “Maybe if you would’ve told the truth I would go elsewhere but now, I think I’ll stay here a while” Oliver refused with cruel dominance and moved up even higher until he was at the meat of Guillermo’s thighs, intensifying his laughter and cries for any kind of relief.

“NnNOoOAohOHOOAA!!” Oliver surged with satisfaction as he kneaded into the inner thighs and his guest went to pieces in front of him. It’d been some time since he’d come across such a deliciously ticklish human and his enthusiasm showed it, really digging into Guillermo’s legs until he was squealing and breathlessly trying to convince him to give him a break. “I can always go higher, Guillermo…” “AHoANOOnNNOoahAOPPLLLEEAAsSEE!!” “I’m starting to think I should” “AhoAHNNOoO! AOhOAHAyYYOOuUcCCAaAnNnTT!!” Guillermo pleaded with the energy vampire as coherently as he could but he still didn’t realize how much Oliver enjoyed the game, teasing his victims to make them even tastier. “It can’t be that bad can it?” Oliver questioned before his hands jumped up to the top of both thighs near his crotch and Guillermo shrieked with the sudden spike like he really couldn’t handle it but that’s exactly what Oliver wanted.

“Ooh very nice” Oliver added while chomping into the upper thighs with quick, ruthless hands. Having been around for centuries, Oliver had seen a few possessions in his time and Guillermo looked as if a spirit had taken him over too, thrashing around in the coffin and struggling to make sense through his desperate laughter but he still had plenty of energy left to siphon. “To show you that I am actually a reasonable vampire, I’ll give you the choice of where I tickle next” Oliver proposed as his hands glided outward and landed on Guillermo’s lower sides, just settling there instead of tickling him.

“You want me to choose??” “Five more seconds and I pick” Oliver announced as his fingers began squeezing his sides a little. “hAOhOokOoKAOHA WWAaAAiItT!” “Time’s ticking!” “AhAohAhAALLRRiiGGhTT MMyYYSSttoOOmMAaACCH!!” Guillermo shouted like it was a tough call to make and Oliver stopped working on his sides. “Thank you for your decision but I think I’m going to try somewhere else” “What?! You said I could pick!” Guillermo complained as if he’d been cheated. “I said you could pick but I didn’t say I’d agree” Oliver corrected as he moved to the end of the coffin and watched the wave of panic hit Guillermo as he started tugging off his shoes.

“Oliver, stop! I’ve laughed enough, I swear!! I’m not sad anymore! See – I’m smiling!” Guillermo assured with an exaggerated smile to prove his point but Oliver wasn’t sold. “Do you really think you know better than someone who’s been doing this for hundreds of years?” Oliver challenged before placing the shoes on the floor and taking a look at the socked feet sticking out the coffin. “For a familiar you have an interesting taste in socks” Oliver pointed out after seeing the red sheer-socked feet. Guillermo was too busy trying to figure a way out of the coffin to reply but Oliver cut the commentary short by dancing along the trapped feet.

“AAAH!! AhohAohAoOooAhOAhoAASSTTHohOOP!! SSTTHOHOOPP!! NNOooTThHHHEEFFEEET!!” exploded out of Guillermo in a giant uproar with a terrified look on his face as the skilled fingers glided across the plump soles. Oliver had developed a liking for sheer socks years ago after discovering how little they did to actually protect one’s feet in this situation, for some men even intensifying each stroke on their feet and Guillermo seemed to be checking that box beautifully. The vampire’s long fingers scratched up and down both meaty soles with minimal pressure but that was enough to drive the familiar absolutely mad with sharp shrieks of ticklish overload every few seconds.

“You know, I used to allow an audience to watch me feed on ticklish humans like yourself. People would pay a pretty penny to see such an entertaining show; I imagine you would’ve helped me bring in uhh…what do they say now? A ‘shit load’?” Oliver taunted while Guillermo struggled in the coffin and the sweat stains on his pits doubled in size. “AhOAhpPPpLlLEEAAsSEEE!! IIIMmmbBbeEETTEERR!! AhoHAOAHAohAAIIiiMMmTToOoOTTiIiCCkKLLliIiSSHhH FFoOORRTThHhiiIiSS!!” Guillermo confessed in an attempt to appeal to Oliver’s sympathy but the energy vampire just indulged in his exquisite suffering like it was another course in his divine meal.

At one point Guillermo felt the fingers leave his feet and he relaxed in the coffin like he actually could’ve passed for a dead person but only moments later he realized Oliver wasn’t done. “What the…what is that?? What are you doing with my toes?!” “Think of it like using a knife and fork with a steak; I’m just making your feet easier to enjoy” Oliver explained before using his enhanced speed to quickly lasso all ten toes to the ties attached to the coffin and leave Guillermo’s meaty feet even more vulnerable. “Oh no…” was all Guillermo said to himself with fresh dread upon realizing he couldn’t even move his toes but Oliver went a step further by peeling the socks down until just the heels and lower part of his arches were exposed.

“I must admit I’ve been enjoying these lovely socks too much to get rid of them but I fear I won’t be able to forgive myself if I don’t see how these wide, delectable feet handle some direct attention. We’ll compromise with half on/half off for right now” Oliver explained as Guillermo grew more nervous. He couldn’t believe how much thought Oliver put into how he would tickle him but Guillermo didn’t even have time to think of a response before Oliver landed on his rich, impossibly soft feet. “OoOhOoAOhAOHSShhIIiTTAohAOH!! NNNOO!! NNOoOO!! AOhAOhAOhAAAooAooAHohAIiIICCAaAnNnnTT!!” Guillermo fell apart mere seconds in, widening the smile on Oliver’s face as he used his pointed nails on the peach heels, dragging them from the outside in like an arcade claw machine trying to grab a toy.

Oliver teased the tender heels with passionate focus, both hands in sync as they made Guillermo regret so rarely going barefoot and not toughening his feet up over the years but the maddening claw action soon became something else as the nails crept up toward the middles of both soles. “ooHoGGoODDNNnOoOOoAHoHAOA!!” The nails raked down just the arches with patient concentration to take advantage of how taut they were and Guillermo shook back and forth in the coffin, consumed with tortured laughter. The steady scratches were killer but they started picking up speed after the first several strokes, getting faster and faster to rile his guest up more until all ten nails suddenly started scribbling all over the bare flesh of Guillermo’s lush soles.

“AAHAHAOhAOhAoAOHAOHASSTTTHoHoHOHOPP!! AhoAHAOOOhHpPPlLLEEAASEE!! AOhAOHAoAaHAAHAhAAAHAHA!!! LLLEEtTTmMMEEGGOOO!!” Guillermo screamed with unhinged laughter and eyes of panicked disbelief. Oliver soaked it up like he had with countless others but he could still appreciate the nuance of Guillermo’s suffering and the unique shocked tone to his overwhelmed laughter as his poor feet were tickled so evilly.

Oliver’s harsh nails scurried all over the familiar’s bare heels and even the sides of his thick feet but the appeal of silky textured tickling soon convinced him to divide his attention. The hand on his left foot began running from side to side on the sheer balls while the other hand scratched across every inch of the naked half of the opposite sole, sending Guillermo through the roof with fresh hysteria. “AAHAOhoHAOhAohOOkOoKK!! AOhAOHAPPLLLEeEeAAAsSEE!! AhAHAEENNnoOoUuUGGH!! LLLEeAAVVEEMMYyYFFEEeETTAALLOoONNNE!!” Guillermo protested as Oliver wreaked fresh havoc on his supple soles. The distraught familiar had become a total mess, unable to do anything but laugh and try to beg enough to get through to Oliver and save his hyper-ticklish feet but before he could pass out or start crying, a simple snap of the vampire’s fingers relieved him of the living nightmare.

“Wha…what happened?” Guillermo groggily asked roughly an hour later as he opened his eyes, unaware he was still locked in the bondage coffin until he tried to sit up. “Dammit! How am I still here?” he asked but was quickly struck by new fear upon seeing his clothes were gone, with everything but his blue boxer briefs folded in a chair by the wall. “Oliver!! Oliver!!!” Guillermo shouted with blushing embarrassment on his full cheeks. “Good, you’re awake” “Why did you take my clothes?! And why am I still in this thing?!?” “Well I sensed that you were close to your body’s limit and put you to sleep but I’m not ready to let you go just yet” “Are you serious?? How are you not full? I’ve never laughed that much in my life!” “Consider this dessert” Oliver answered as he pushed a button on the coffin and what must’ve been 20 motorized feathers popped out from the inside walls of the coffin.

“Holy shit!” “Yes, I like them too” Oliver added as Guillermo tried to fight his way out again, praying he could avoid the onslaught of feathers heading his way but failed to escape the small army of twirling feathers before they dominated his defenseless body. “AAH!! nNOOOnNoOAHoAOHaohSSTTohoHOPPpIIITT!!” gushed out of Guillermo with renewed power as the feathers tickled his ears, arms, pits, sides, large nipples, thighs, belly, and under his knees. He was far too distracted to realize his feet had been stripped off their socks as well but his toes had been re-tied in place, leaving both beefy feet completely unprotected and with no chance of salvation.

“I hope Nandor wasn’t expecting his familiar back today…perhaps he shouldn't have sent me such a tasty human to enjoy” Oliver explained with a greedy look in his eye before returning to Guillermo’s feet to see just how insane his laughter would become with a vampire tongue slithering between his scrumptious toes. “AAAAAH!!! WwWhHAaATTthHEEhhHEELliIISSTTThHAAHAATT?!!” Guillermo freaked just as violently as Oliver had hoped, now suddenly fighting a losing battle against the feathers while trying to wrap his head around the bizarre sensation of the tongue invading every space between his savory toes.

The unusual vampire could sense Guillermo’s distress from the end of the coffin, the barrage of laughter on his throat and the increasing strain on his bladder to not pee himself in front of Oliver but Nandor hadn’t sent him there to enjoy himself. He’d sent him to Oliver to help him get out of the funk he was in and as hard as Guillermo laughed and as much as he wanted to stop being tickled, at least he couldn’t say he was sad anymore. He may have been frustrated, sweaty, desperate, and wishing Oliver would just drink his blood like a regular vampire instead of this but no, his frown had been very much turned upside down whether he wanted it to be or not.