The X-Jet made its descent into the Xavier mansion after a surprisingly difficult mission downtown just as the sun began to set below the horizon; The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants had gotten the better of them in public and no member on the plane was in a good mood about it. Cyclops was the first off, walking down the platform in classic pissed off Scott Summer’s fashion. Storm followed with a stoic expression but Wolverine’s frustration was quite obvious in comparison, “Logan, it’s not your fault the mission went south” the wise weather master added with a gentle hand on the spirited mutant’s shoulder. “I don’t blame myself…I’m not in charge, I didn’t make the bullshit call” he replied loud enough for everyone to hear him. Cyclops practically spun around in his blue and yellow uniform, “If you have something to say, say it to my face!” “We would’ve had those guys easy if you wouldn’t have tried to play action hero, Rambo” Logan barked as the team leader approached him. “If you don’t like the way I do things, leave. We don’t need the attitude” Cyclops replied with a clenched jaw of hostility. “Why don’t you make me, pretty boy?” Wolverine challenged as he popped one set of claws.

“Scott! Logan! Enough!” a voice called out entering the jet garage. “Ya’ll are worse than two squirrels fighting over the same acorn” Rogue added in her southern drawl. “The Brotherhood anticipated our arrival and overpowered us, Professor” Storm enlightened. “Yes, it appears your fight made the news but arguing about it now doesn’t change the outcome” “Maybe Storm should lead, at least she’s got a level head” Wolverine continued. “Better her than you, short stack” Cyclops spat back as tempers flared once again, their squabbles becoming more frequent in recent months. “Both of you knock it off; this isn’t any way for us to behave. You are teammates which means you need to know how to work well together even when things don’t go your way” Xavier tried to mediate. “Rogue and I are going to get some dinner, we’ll leave you to it” Storm announced as her and the belle of the X-Men left the garage.

“If you still have so much aggression built up why don’t you take it out in the Danger Room; that’s better than killing each other” Xavier suggested. “I don’t know…I might miss and slice the Boy Scout over here” Wolverine answered. “Or I could blast you through a wall, you just never know” Cyclops retorted, reminding their mentor of just how complex his pupils’ relationship was. “Better in there than around the jet. You wouldn’t believe how expensive that was” the telepath replied as he wheeled away and let the testosterone fueled men work out their frustration in the one part of the mansion that was built to withstand superhuman abilities.  

Within 20 minutes the Canadian thrasher and the handsome leader stood in the danger room waiting for the training session to start, trying to resist attacking each other in the meantime. “Beast, just push the damn button” Wolverine yelled toward the top of the large space. “I’m finishing up the details on the new simulation, just a few more seconds…” the furry genius replied from the control room overseeing the main area. “Eureka! Ok, starting in 3…2…1” Beast finally announced as the Danger Room fired up and the pair of X-Men prepared for whatever came their way. Suddenly a 20 foot sentinel appeared in front of them and they sprang into action, with Cyclops sending a blast clean through the robot’s chest while Wolverine chopped off its leg; destroying the mutant hunting creation with precision.

Before either of them could take a beat, shiny spikes started shooting out from the main wall in their direction. “That’s new!” Scott commented as his ruby blasts took them out one by one like target practice. “I’m gonna take out the wall!” Wolverine shouted as he weaved between and slashed through every spike on his way to the far end of the Danger Room. “That won’t stop them!” Scott shouted back between shots. “You have your way and I have mine” Logan answered like the stubborn man he was until reaching what he thought to be the source of the current threat. “Damnit, Wolverine! We’re supposed to work together” Scott said as the hairy ball of fury started trying to end the stream of spikes but after a few seconds, his adamantium claws proved to not be doing the job.

“It’s not working!” “The signal is on the ceiling” Cyclops answered as his visor let out a powerful blow to destroy three spikes at once. “I’m going for the signal” Logan announced. “I can blast it if you hold off the spikes!” Scott tried to suggest but Logan wasn’t one to wait for a game plan. Just as the muscly hero made his way near the signal, two slithering mechanical arms protruded from the walls, catching him off guard mid-air. “Blasted metal octopus!” Wolverine exclaimed, struggling to free himself from the tentacles wrapped around his own arms keeping him suspended several feet above the ground.

“What’s wrong, Wolverine?” Cyclops teased after seeing his frenemy rendered helpless. “Screw you! Get me down!” “Maybe you should listen to my plan next time” Scott added as he prepared to blast through the arms restraining his fellow X-Man but a pair of the same sneaky arms popped out from the floor and wrapped around Cyclops’ legs and hung him upside down so his feet were facing the ceiling, “Shit!” Logan squirmed in the air to try and escape the strong tentacles but two others shot out and secured his legs so his meaty body was completely spread eagle, “What the hell is this?!” “It must be the new protocol” Cyclops answered as the same thing happened to him, two new tentacles restraining his wrists so his sculpted figure was stretched out upside down in the same X formation.

“Just blast the fucking things, Cyc!” Logan shouted from above him. Scott extended his neck to try and aim his visor at one of the metallic snakes wrapped around his arm but something else happening near his legs that pulled his attention. Another two tentacles had appeared from the surrounding walls and started tugging off his yellow boots, “What the hell??” Scott tried to ignore it and focus on using his powers to escape but suddenly a surprise sensation sent a surge of panic down his body; they were tickling his feet. “AhEhOHHEhAhHHEEYY!” Scott yelled at Beast as he tried to fight the mounting laughter. Beast just watched from above with a smirk as the circular brushes at the tentacle ends swirled on both of Cyclops’ fresh bare soles, effectively distracting the 25 year old mutant from blasting through the tentacles around his arms.

“Why are you laughing??” Logan asked with a disgruntled attitude before looking down to see the brush ends attacking Scott’s feet like they were buffing a car. “Are they…tickling him?” he asked himself as he watched in disbelief. “CcUHHuhuTT TThEEdDAAhAMMN TthHIINnGGSS!” Cyclops let out as the bristles scrubbed the brilliant balls of both heroic feet. Wolverine grew more nervous as the realization of what Beast’s new simulation was, motivating him to fight the strong tentacles even harder, “Get me outta here!”  But despite his ferocious efforts, two metal arms extended out toward his defenseless body and quickly dove into his naked, hairy armpits.

“AAHH!! FUCK!!” Logan let out in a fit of ticklish frustration, pulling on the stubborn restraints until the veins in his biceps looked like they would pop out of his body. The way his uniform didn’t cover his underarms for better mobility allowed the mechanical hands to viciously wiggle around in his pits without any protection, something the human weapon was now regretting. The mechanical fingers had the nimbleness of human hands but a rhythmic pressure that didn’t slow down and somehow knew just where to poke around. “SsHHHoOoOTT ThHEEHeheEESSEE TThHIIinNnGGSSAHAH!” Wolverine demanded as the tickling pissed him off more and more by the second, his natural sensitivity proving to be something even he couldn’t conquer.

“IIIMmM AhhAhATTRRYYIINNGG!!” Cyclops answered through heavy laughter spewing out past his plump lips. He attempted to blast through one of the tentacles but missed twice in a row, out of character for such a seasoned X-Man but the tickling threw him off. Soon the brushes transitioned into something more sinister, switching out to four stiff feathers at the ends of each tentacle before they began sawing between each of Cyclops’ juicy pink toes, provoking a more vibrant howl from the brunette stud. “NONoAOhAOHOHAHhOHA!! MMMAAKKKEEEIIITTTSSTTOOAHPP!!” He bucked in the air and grew more agitated that he was being beaten by such an embarrassing tactic but the feathers threading back and forth were relentlessly kicking his ass and dominating his usually tactile mind.

The hands terrorizing Wolverine alternated between prodding around the rim of his deep armpits and drilling into the center for a continuous back and forth Logan didn’t know how to mentally combat. “GgEETTTTtHhEEEeSSEETThHINnNGGSs AOhOOhOOFFMmMEEE!!” The most hardcore member of the X-Men jerked and yanked on the tentacles keeping him from fighting back with all the strength he could summon but the ruthlessly cruel fingers taking advantage of his outstretched, tender underarms were wrecking his train of thought and undermining his animalistic prowess.

Wolverine of course knew what tickling was but in all his years had never really experienced the full force of serious tickle attention so this was not only driving him mad but showing him just how sensitive he was. “AhAHaBBBEEASSSTTTAhAHOhoa SSSHHUUTTT IIITTTOOOFFF!!” Logan shouted. “Logan, this is no different than any other obstacle in the Danger Room you’ve faced before, you can beat it if you concentrate” Beast replied over the intercom. “AhAhaFFUUUCCCKKKYYYOUUUAhaHAHAAHA FFUURRRBBAALLL!!” As if the malicious hands devouring his armpits weren’t enough, they suddenly moved down and snipped his uniform around his waist until it was two separate pieces and ripped his top half down the middle to expose his tight, hairy torso. “What…no more noMOoORAoAHAHAHAHAHSSSHIIIITT!!” Exploded form the wily hero as the mechanical hands started digging into his solid tummy, vibrating all over and even swirling around in his belly button which really set Logan off. “AAAAAHAHAHANOOONOOO!! NOOOTTTTHHAATTTT!!”

“LLLOOGGAAANNNAAHAHAH TTRRryYHAATTTOOOCCCUUTTTTHHEEe AAhRRmMSSS!!” Scott yelled from below as the feathers continued snaking through the delicate crevices between each of his beautiful long toes. “AHaHAHAIIIICCAANNNTT!!” Wolverine replied as his grizzly, deep laugh grew in volume. Cyclops had never felt so defeated in a training session, having beaten every threat in the simulator many times but this was uniquely maniacal. Just as he tried to take out one of the tentacles again, the feathers at his gorgeous feet suddenly became like the hands attacking Logan and wasted no time sinking into his muscular thighs.

“OhOAhoHAGGoOOdDdAAMMMIiIiTTAHAA!!” Scott erupted as the merciless fingers squeezed his strong upper legs like they were kneading dough, enlightening the statuesque hero about a new spot he didn’t even know was ticklish. His head thrashed about and his limbs pulled on the tentacles as much as they could but he couldn’t even think of an escape plan, his mind clouded with desperation for the tickle torture to end. In the control room, Beast checked the time to see they’d been strung up and tickled for ten minutes without being able to beat the tentacles. He was surprised that the method had been effective enough to best his teammates like this, Scott so mentally overpowered or Logan so helpless. Part of Hank wanted to release them and end the admittedly entertaining torment but he had instructions to take things up a notch if they made it to the ten minute mark so that’s exactly what he did.

Without any kind of warning, the wall near Wolverine produced yet another metal tentacle that snaked around to pull off both of Logan’s boots. “AHAHAHHHEEYYAHAHaHA DDOONNTTTAKKEEEMMYYYBOOOTTSSAhaHA!!” Once both of the shoes were off, the metallic arm separated into two new tentacles, each sprouting a wide stiff-bristled brush to begin scrubbing the living shit out of both of Wolverine’s beefy feet. “AHAAHAH!! SSTtohOHhoPPPTTiIiCCKKkkLLIIiNnNGGmMMEEE!!” Logan roared with growling frustration as the incredibly evil tools brushed his sweaty feet back and forth, working with the tickling at his abs to really drive him crazy. His exposed, buff body flailed in the air like he was losing his mind, unable to process the overwhelming stimulation from the brushes on his thick feet and the hands pulsating on his stomach. Below him, Cyclops was doing just as poorly, with the hands still aggressively digging into his thigh muscles, a new tentacle had cut the top half of his uniform open like it had Logan and proceeded to attack his sides/ribs. “OhoAohAOHNnOOO! EEnNnoOoUuGGhH!! AhAOHACCooMmmEEOOhOhOHANNN!”

The additional Danger Room arm had two hands that allowed it to work up and down Scott’s toned body perfectly, wiggling just as fiercely as the ones nearing his crotch. “Don’t let this obstacle defeat you; use your heads and work together” Beast added over the intercom, trying to encourage his friends. Wolverine and Cyclops wanted nothing more than to figure out a way to beat the unconventional simulation but it felt impossible; the assortment of full-body tickling was consuming in a way neither of them knew a good way to overcome. However, the X-Men weren’t known for giving up in the face of danger or calculated tickle torture.

Beast watched with excitement as the opposing personalities in the same fix tried one more time to get themselves out of the bizarrely challenging Danger Room scenario. “ALLEETTSSSTTRRYYYAhahaHAHA LLAAASSSERRRSSHHOOOWWW!!” Scott shouted between the heavy laughter. “HAHAHAHFFFIIIINNEE!! OOONNEEEAHAHA TTWWOOOOAHAHAHA TTHHREhEEE!!” Wolverine counted down before Cyclops executed the new move they’d been working out, pulling his head up enough so he could shoot a blast upward and Logan angled one set of claws just right so the red energy dispersed in several rays.

To their surprise, the unperfected move worked like a charm, slicing through the tentacles holding Wolverine’s arms and allowing him to drop down to cut the ones restraining his legs. Wolverine dropped to the floor with an exhausted thud, “Holy shit…” he said in relief. “HAHHEEELLPPPAhahaHAMEEEE!!!” Cyclops shouted as the four hands continued poking, teasing, and digging into his super-ticklish body. “I’m coming, I’m coming” Logan replied before running his claws through the tentacles holding Scott’s arms so he could lean up and blast through the other two arms and fall to the floor. “DANGER ROOM SESSION COMPLETE” the computer voice announced as the pair of X-Men tried to recuperate. “Good teamwork, fellas” Beast complimented from the control room but all he got were two middle fingers from the drained, frustrated mutants.

A couple hours later Scott and Logan were sharing a drink in the kitchen, still reeling from the horrendous training session when their Cajun teammate joined them. “I heard you two had a rather…ticklish situation earlier” Gambit teased with a sly grin. “Say another word about it and I’ll cut that smirk right off your face” Wolverine retorted. “Haha Beast must be getting pretty devious with the training protocols these days” Gambit added as he poured himself a glass of what they were drinking. “Actually it wasn’t Beast’s idea” Xavier interjected as he rolled into the kitchen. “What are you talking about?” Scott chimed in from the table.

“Tickling may seem like a childish act but as you now know, when weaponized it can be just as powerful as conventional pain. You two were at each other’s throats so I thought you could use some time in the Danger Room to improve your teamwork skills and perhaps even…bond over a shared experience” “How did you know we were both so…ticklish?” Scott questioned with obvious discomfort, his toes flexing in his shoes at the question. “Consider it a lucky guess; most men are, even mutants” he added.

“I wish I could’ve seen that” Gambit admitted with a chuckle. “Keep it up and I’ll put you in there myself” Logan threatened. “Who says I’m even ticklish, Wolverine? Louisiana thieves aren’t known for their sensitivity” “Under your toes…that’s your worst spot” Xavier revealed, making Scott and Logan laugh at the private, useful information. “Hey! How did you…” “Telepathy has its perks, Gambit” Xavier replied before leaving the X-Men to finish their late night drink. “Want a foot rub, Cajun?” Wolverine teased with a smile. “Logan’s real good with his hands; he knows just the right spots” Cyclops tacked on with a pearly grin. “Maybe later…I do enjoy having my feet played with” Gambit replied with a wink, flipping the joke on Wolverine.

Just then, they heard another set of footsteps making their way down the hallway until they reached the kitchen. “Nobody told me we were having a party tonight” Colossus greeted, wearing only pajama pants and out of his metallic form so his sculpted upper body was on full display. “Actually…we were just about to come get you” Cyclops replied as the wide, size 14 bare feet caught Scott’s attention, giving him an idea.  “Really?” Piotr questioned “Yeah, we had a Danger Room session earlier today and Xavier wants you to get one in before tomorrow” Wolverine added. “I didn’t know…” the innocent faced Russian lad expressed. “It’s alright; we’ll stay up with you and watch from the control room” Gambit assured. “Well, ok. Is there some kind of new training protocol?” Colossus asked. “We’ll show you” Wolverine answered as all three older X-Men tried to contain their excitement about getting the last laugh of the day.