“Captain, I do not understand the interest in exploring this planet. What value could Quelix have for us?” Spock questioned as Kirk suited up to drop down to the foreign planet. “I know you’re a numbers and facts guy, Spock, but sometimes you just wanna check something out, alright? Consider it a traveler’s hunch that there might be something or somethings worth knowing about down there” Captain Kirk answered with his usual self-assuredness, not doing anything to dispel Spock’s trepidation about the unwarranted investigation.

“What if there are creatures down there that eat anything they see? There could be something down there that could turn you inside out with a blink! We don’t know!” Bones stressed. “You guys worry too much. If there’s not any liquor on The Enterprise, we’re stopping off at the first space bar I see” Kirk brushed off as Bones rolled his eyes. “Sulu, you’re in charge for a bit while I check Quelix out. If I do end up with my insides on the outside, I guess you’re the new permanent captain” Kirk announced. “Understood, Captain” Sulu answered without nearly the concern that Spock or Bones shared. “This could be a suicide mission!” Bones added. “An unnecessary suicide mission” Spock pointed out. “Better get started on my eulogy then” Kirk answered with a confident smirk before descending down to the uncharted planet.

Nearly an hour passed without any sign from Captain Kirk. His communication line seemed to be offline or interrupted by Quelix and The Enterprise itself could not locate him, leaving the crew assuming the worst. “Someone needs to assess the situation. If Kirk is in distress and has no way of communicating that to us, we must investigate ourselves” Spock soon decided. “Knowing Kirk he’s likely found some female alien down there to cozy up with” Sulu added. “Not funny, Sulu! This could be serious” Bones fired back. “I’ll go too” Bones decided. “Fine. Just keep within close proximity of me once we land” “Understood” Bones answered before he and Spock suited up and followed their cocky captain to the mysterious planet below them.

“It appears the atmosphere is safe to be exposed to” Spock realized after landing. “Great. This suit is like a sauna” Bones answered as they discarded of their suits and let the ship beam them back up. “Strange…our comms seem to be working fine” Bones pointed out. “Perhaps Kirk’s went offline deeper into his exploration” “Or maybe he just turned them off to be a dick” Bones offered, earning a look from Spock like he knew that was a possibility. Quelix’s surface was covered in what looked like a purple grass, fields of it without any buildings or animals in sight. The only thing either of them did see was a cavernous structure close to a mile away, persuading the pair to pursue that in hopes of finding their potentially endangered captain.

Spock and Bones made their way closer to the large cave-like formation and stopped in their tracks when they heard a familiar voice. “I hear someone…it’s Captain Kirk” Spock realized, getting Bones to stop and listen too. “He doesn’t sound in distress…he sounds happy?” Bones questioned. “We should move closer” Spock instructed and they walked further until they were just outside the opening of the cave and peaked over part of a short wall until they could lay eyes on their captain, finding him toward the middle of the cave surrounded by what looked like green, human-like creatures.

“The hell is going on in there?” Bones asked with obvious confusion as they watched the strange scene they’d found. Four of the Quelix creatures stood in front of Kirk while what looked like 30 more stood around watching as the four nearest the blonde captain held his feet in their hands. His boots and socks sat discarded on the ground near where he sat while two of the creatures looked to be massaging his bare feet, specifically his rosy heels and the creamy arches while the other two were using their extra-long tongues to snake between his toes, making Kirk smile and giggle. “EeAAhSSY! EEASsYyY! I’m a little TtiCckKLLiSHhSAH!” Kirk tried to convince through his laughter but couldn’t make the Quelix people go any slower, seemingly fixated on his handsome feet.

Spock and Bones looked at each other with a similar perplexed and awed expression, taken back by what they’d discovered. “Guys, have you found anything yet?” Sulu questioned through the comms. “Yes. Captain Kirk appears to be in no apparent danger” Spock answered. “We uhh…have not spoken with the captain yet…he seems to be occupied at the moment” Bones added like he wasn’t sure how to word what was happening in the cave. “I cannot tell if the creatures are investigating him or enjoying him somehow” Spock added. “They’re rubbing and slurping on his feet! How the hell did we find this random planet and Kirk ends up being treated like some kind of weird king??” Bones asked as they continued watching their captain in the unusual situation.

They could see him gripping the sides of the seat as the creatures continued on his feet, now with their tongues splitting into three separate tongues to invade between more of his toes at the same time, making the captain’s slender toes wiggle and flex and his laughter grow even more. The others rubbing the rest of his feet seemed to be adding some sort of substance to their massages as well, excreting some sort of blue goo from their six fingers across his smooth soles. “What the hell is that blue stuff?” Bones asked. “It is unclear. Perhaps it is some kind of stimulant or relaxing agent judging by the stiffness of the captain’s nipples and the fact that he never tries to leave his position. His reaction is difficult to draw a conclusion from” Spock answered while Kirk squirmed a little on the seat but never kicked his feet away or tried to take them from the Quelix people, indeed giving mixed signals to Spock and Bones with his yellow shirt failing to even remotely hide how hard his nipples were and the almost content tone to his laughter despite not being able to control his reaction.

“I believe it is time to assess this situation with the captain himself” Spock soon decided. “Alright but if these things turn on us, I’m telling the ship to beam us up” Bones warned before they both started down the slope leading to the opening of the cave with hesitant steps until they were in sight of the peculiar Quelix people. The green creatures stopped all at once and turned to face Spock and Bones, getting Kirk’s attention as well as he looked forward. “Captain, what is going on here?” Spock questioned. “Relax, Spock…these guys are harmless” Kirk assured. “The hell were they doing with your feet??” Bones added. “Right, the feet thing, well, after finding out the Quelixans are telepathic, they informed me that apparently human feet smell and taste just like a Quelixan delicacy that used to grow here” Kirk explained but didn’t make his friends look any less puzzled.

“You don’t think this could be some kind of trick?” Spock asked. “I wasn’t sure about these guys either at first but I let them sniff me out and once they got down to my boots, they were like cats with catnip. I thought they were gonna eat my feet at first but once they sat me on this slab and got my boots and socks off, they just started licking and rubbing my feet. It tickles like hell but maybe that’s just me. That’s the worst of it” Kirk answered with a smirk in his explanation as if part of him liked being admired and enjoyed. “Well, this is somehow stranger than I thought it’d be” Bones admitted. “Come on, Bones. I know you’re a medicine man and all but surely you’ve heard of people who like a little foot action” Kirk answered with a playful wiggle of his toes. “Not all of us have fooled around with as many types of people as you have, Captain” Bones answered.

“Regardless of The Quelixans’ affinity for human feet, what purpose do we have in remaining on this planet?” Spock questioned. “You’re half human, Spock…maybe you could use some relaxation and let these fine folks enjoy your feet for a while” Kirk suggested. “This isn’t a spa, Captain” Bones pointed out. “Don’t knock it until you try it, Bones. Not everything has to be business all the time” Kirk answered as he leaned back and the Quelixans took the cue to return, this time the foursome switching positions so the other pair could get his toes and the other two could enjoy the addictive aroma of his feet while massaging them.

“These guys have the goods too…just get rid of their boots and you’ll see what I mean” Kirk announced to the other Quelixans as he relished in being worshiped like a foreign deity, already back to giggling and squirming with the divided tongues wiggling between his bubbly toes. A handful of the other Quelixans left the crowd that’d been observing and moved closer to Spock and Bones, now intrigued by the promise of more of what Kirk had. They sniffed and studied the pair of explorers while the pair grew more uneasy, unsure how to navigate such an unusual situation.

“I do not believe remaining on Quelix is in our best interest, Captain” Spock spoke up as two of the native creatures found his boots and started stuffing their noses as close as they could at the tops. The others on Bones did the same and even started lifting his leg to try and pull his boot off, the initial tugging enough to get the smell of his socked foot airing out through the top of the black boot and encouraging the Quelixans like it was some kind of drug. “Hey! Cut it out!” Bones argued as he tried to yank his leg back but accidentally helped get his boot off, instantly enticing them more.

“Guys, just enjOoOuyY IiT! TtaAkkE a loAOAODd oOohFF!” Kirk encouraged through the ticklish treatment but his crew members didn’t share his willingness to let an alien species gorge themselves on their feet. “We are leaving now!” Spock decided and jerked free of the small group now surrounding him and Bones tried to do the same but couldn’t stop the Quelixans that’d stolen his boot from grabbing his black sock and making it theirs as well, even bringing it to their faces and taking large huffs of the sweaty material. “Ugh!” Bones scoffed with disgust as he started to plant his bare foot on the ground but was quickly stopped by the small gang, grabbing his leg before his naked sole could touch the ground. Quick whispers of their telepathic thoughts told Bones that putting his bare foot on the ground would ruin it as they held his leg in the air, forcing him to lose his balance and land on his back.

“Spock! Get them off me!” Bones shouted as his other boot was quickly taken and they started carrying him away. Spock readied his gun and started to fire but it wouldn’t work, convincing him try his comms but they were suddenly offline as well, confirming that something on that planet was interfering with their technology. “Get off me!” Bones protested the best he could as he was brought to a similar spot like the one Kirk sat on and while some of them held him down and the others removed his other sock before pouncing on his meaty bare feet. “No! NoOoAOHAoh!! SSpPooOHOoCCKK!” Bones shouted as their tongues landed on his peach soles and started licking and flicking around and two others started playing with/massaging his long toes, the blue substance they’d seen earlier now oozing out across and between his toes like syrup until Bones wasn’t fighting them anymore.

Spock avoided the others the best he could and fought off any they went after his boots as he got glimpses of Bones now smiling and giggling. The small group of Quelixans were now fully devouring his feet like they were Kirk’s, lapping up the wrinkles of his arches and drooling over his heels while the others handled his toes like they couldn’t get enough. “The blue substance…it must have some kind of sedation or hypnotic properties” Spock realized as his fellow Enterprise crew members laughed and grinned without a care in the world. One Quelixan managed to get a grip on Spock’s left boot and as he yanked his leg back, the boot came off and without any socks on, his bare foot landed on the ground, suddenly stopping the creatures’ advances toward it.

“That must be it…they don’t like dirty feet” Spock pieced together before his other boot could be stolen and he got out of reach long enough to take his other boot off himself to plant that foot on the ground too, ending the Quelixans’ mission to get at him. The floor of the cave wasn’t covered in grass like the rest of the planet looked to be, instead more of a purple, dirt consistency that left the soles of Spock’s pale feet covered in it. “I just have to get Kirk and Bones’ feet dirty. Otherwise, they may never let them go” Spock concluded as he grabbed a handful of the purple dirt and started toward them but was overwhelmed by more Quelixans bombarding him, seemingly onto his plan. “We are not food or objects for you to indulge in” Spock tried to convince but couldn’t stop the gang hellbent on preventing him from ruining the pairs of delicious feet that’d found their way to Quelix.

Kirk’s pearly smile was stretched wide across his face and his warm laughter never weakened as the foursome of Quelixans licked every inch of his captain feet and toes like they’d never tasted anything to amazing. Bones was just as giggly and smiley a few yards away, with his deeper laughter mixing with Kirk’s in the cave while the Quelix creatures on his feet sucked and slurped and sniffed just as obsessively. The divided tongues started slithering along the bottoms of his plump toes and between them while the other creatures showed his high-arches particular attention, teasing and rubbing them with excellent focus and pressure while the mysterious blue goo covered his supple soles.

While trying to fight off the Quelixans keeping him from getting in the way, Spock tried his comms again, hoping to get through to someone, “This is Spock. We need reinforcements! Kirk and Bones have been compromised. I fear the Quelixans wish to keep them here as some sort of prisoners” Spock explained without knowing if anyone would actually hear him. As the minutes passed and he struggled to not be totally overrun by the Quelixans and Kirk and Bones laughed through the ticklish affection, another voice broke through the giggly marathon. “Spock! Spock, over here!” Sulu announced, getting his friend’s attention but also getting the Quelixans’ attention.

He looked over to see Kirk and Bones without their boots and socks and with the creatures doing something their feet but was just as dumbfounded as Spock and Bones had been before. “What’s going on? What are they doing to them? Why are they…laughing?” Sulu questioned while Spock tried to make his way to him. “They can’t help it! Take off your boots!” Spock shouted back. “What? Why?” “SSUuLLLLU! CCoOMmEE ooVvEERrhHEEeRREE!” Kirk tried to persuade, only confusing Sulu more before some of the sniffing creatures found him. “Back off!” Sulu argued as he tried to keep distance between himself and the Quelixans. “Your feet! You need to make them dirty!” Spock shouted but without any context, Sulu didn’t understand why he should do something so random, especially with a group of alien creatures trying to get at him for some reason.

“SuULLLuU! JJuUSStTREeLAhAAHaX!” Bones encouraged without any control over himself. His laughter and big smile alone were enough to throw Sulu for a loop; he’d never seen the Enterprise’s doctor ever let out more than half a chuckle. “Sulu! Step on the ground without your shoes!” Spock tried again to get through to him but the Quelixans’ increasing appetite for human feet made them even more aggressive as they moved on Sulu quicker than with Kirk or Bones, this time grabbing him and lifting him in the air so he was nearly horizontal. “Hey! Get off me!!” Sulu argued and struggled the best he could as a few of them made quick work of his boots and white socks until they had his bare feet exposed.

“Leave my feet alone! Put me down!” Sulu demanded as he writhed in the air until he felt slimy, foreign tongues start slinking between his juicy toes and textured fingers start grazing down his wide soles. “HhEeY! STtoHOP! NoOAOAH! NNoAOH! SSTToOhPpiIIT!!” Sulu tried to persist as the unwanted attention proved just as ticklish as it had with Kirk and Bones and the entrancing blue substance from the creatures’ fingers began getting massaged into his feet and decorating his soles with lines of mystery goo.

Spock listened to Sulu’s reaction shift from argumentative and defensive to relaxed and agreeable, all the while still consumed with his own forced laughter. What’d seemed like Captain Kirk welcoming being worshiped and fawned over had turned out to be something Spock, in all his brilliance, could’ve never anticipated. Now sat Kirk, Bones, and Sulu all with their feet and toes being licked, slurped, rubbed, sniffed, tickled, enjoyed, and worshiped like nothing Spock had ever seen. None of them could stop laughing or smiling or even seem to think straight thanks to the Quelixan influence. With the remaining Quelixans keeping Spock on the sidelines and half of the crew in trouble, ideas of how to escape the situation were sparse. He figured the comms at least worked a little if Sulu had shown up but he wasn’t sure even what to tell the others if he got through to them, not until a potential solution seemed worth while enough for Spock to try.

“The delicacy you crave, I can get more of it for you!” Spock announced in hopes of curtailing their attention from his friends and their apparently heavenly feet. A handful of them looked at him and he took that as a sign to continue. “I have a vast knowledge of plant life across the galaxy…and we have technology that can materialize most naturally occurring plants. If you let them go, I can give you whatever it is that smells and tastes like their feet” Spock explained and seemingly hit home with most of the Quelixans.

After some telepathic negotiating, Spock got through to The Enterprise to beam him and one of the creatures aboard, allowing him to work with them to narrow down what exactly it was that they loved so much and then grow it within seconds on the ship. Spock produced more than enough of the Quelix plant to satisfy the small species and even helped them plant it to grow more, the deal enough to convince them to let Kirk, Bones, and Sulu free.

“I am glad everyone is back on board in one peace without any injuries. If anyone should need me, I will be logging the experience on Quelix” Spock announced with his usual dryness. “No! We’re not logging what happened down there, no way” Kirk forbade. “Our experience on Quelix and our interactions with its inhabitants is beneficial information. We can document an entire planet that as far as we know, has never been explored” “I don’t care if we found pots of gold and unicorns on Quelix. We’re not documenting what actually happened there” Kirk asserted.

“I’m not wild about logging that I got my feet snacked on and drooled over by those things but it is smart to be able to let others know what Quelix is like” Bones chimed in. “Ya know what, as far as I’m concerned, nobody got their feet licked and tickled and drooled over. How’s that?” Kirk answered with ego-driven discomfort. “But we did…” Sulu pointed out. “I didn’t get my feet slurped on and rubbed down by some weird green creatures, nope, didn’t happen and we’re definitely not putting it in The Enterprise’s log!” Kirk doubled down. “Make sure you add our Captain having a bout of chosen delusion in the log too” Bones added, earning a dirty look from Kirk, knowing that the Quelix story likely wouldn’t suddenly fade into obscurity like he’d hoped.